It's A Good Thing I Don't Have Much Time For TV Lately

[disbelief11]

...because Smallville didn't record for me this week. Everyone, what happened in the episode? Anything worth watching, or can I just wait for Omar's recap and call it done?

PS - goss! I just got your amazing card! YOU ROCK! I adore you. Thank you!

looks wistfully at the pile of unwritten and unsent Valentine cards on my desk

Comments

[goss.livejournal.com]

hee! i'm so glad you actually got it on time! *hugses*

hope it's fun to play with. i'll be putting stuff up on the site soon. :D

This icon has never been more appropriate!

[adellyna.livejournal.com]

Smallville was basically The Fast and the Furious meets Speed meets THE HUGEST AMOUNT OF SUCK OF ALL TIME.

Pete got mixed up with a band of street racers. In Smallville. Do they even have paved roads in Smallville?

Anyway, he was supposed to throw the race (at the behest of his racing 'boss' Dante) but he was overcome by the need for victory that he won the race, Dante lost $20,000, and Pete went crying to Clark (who'd already warned him not to race anymore) because if he didn't replace Dante's $20,000 Dante was going to Kill Pete, Vol. 1.

Clark, the all alien boy scout, decides the best thing to do is to notify the police about all of the stolen cars in Dante's Fortress of Speeditude so they can raid the place. But oopsie, Dante had a deputy in his "pocket" and cleared out his Fortress, and then beat the living shit out of Pete in one scene that got one of the very, very few compliments I can give this episode: Effective Use of Fake Blood. "Ross the Boss" tells Clark that Dante blamed him for squeeling to the cops and then told Pete that if he didn't pay back his $20,000, he was going to kill Pete's family first, and then kill Pete.

It never occurs to Pete that his mother, THE JUDGE, might have something to say about her life being on the line FOR $20,000 AND THAT MAYBE HE SHOULD TELL HER?!? HUH!?!? Ahem. Sorry. Clarkie boy goes running to his ex, Lex, trying to get the money but Lex might as well say "BITCH! You let me get electroshock therapy and now you want my mo'fo'in money? I don't fucking think so!!" and then gets on a helicopter to leave. Clark "borrows" Lex's Porsche and offers up a trade to Dante: Pete will race Dante (did I mention, by the way, that Dante's "secret weapon" was kyrptonite booster fuel? Cuz it was.) and if Pete wins, the debts are off and everyone wins. If Dante wins, he get's Lex's Porsche. Clark plans to cheat for Pete by using his heat vision to disable Dante's engine, allowing Petey to win the race.

However, Clark soon superoverhears Dante telling one of his minions to place a bomb in Pete's car that will blow up when he hits 100mph. Clark confronts them (way to go stealthy!clark!) and get's hit over the head with a canister of kryptonite fuel and dumped in the back of Pete's trunk (right next to HIS tank of kryptonite fuel) to die with his speed lovin' boyfriend. They race. Once Pete has used up all of his kyrptofuel Clark comes to and punches a hole in the gas tank, causing Pete's gas to leak all over the road and Pete to stop the car/immediately run out of gas/give up on making sense and find a new agent. They get out of the car as/right after Dante's loses control of HIS car in the new gas slick and rolls his vehicle dying horribly. At this point, the SoFlo crew waits, with bated breath, for the Kryptofuel to leak into Dante's bloodstream and mutate him into a Krypto-Transformer, but no such luck.