Goin' All Oprah, a.k.a. My Spiritual State

[disbelief11]

(As promised, or perhaps threatened, a more weighty journal entry. Oprah weight joke unintentional.)

Those of you who have stuck by me for a long while know that life has sucked for me but it's getting better every day. In the midst of all the crap, I've been attempting to find a more spiritual side of myself.

For years I've denied that I have a spiritual side at all. The many years of Catholic schooling and forced going to church made me fed up with the politics of church and the dogmatic perspective on issues that were near and dear to my heart, even back as a teen. For example, if the Roman Catholic church was facing a shortage of priests, why not let women become priests? The argument that because the bible calls Jesus the bridegroom and the church the bride - therefore, priests must be male to fulfill the role of groom - seemed idiotic in the face of a shortage of priests. (These days, after everything that has been revealed about priests, I am more convinced than ever that the whole thing is (1) a power grab by males in the church and (2) a way for them to keep all their illicit behavior secret.)

I wanted my church to be more inclusive and more forgiving and it certainly didn't seem like it was ever going to be that way. Let me point out here that because I have moved around a lot, I have had the chance to sample the services of many Catholic churches. Some are better than others, it's true. Regardless, my opinion isn't based on only one church.

So I chucked out the concept of organized religion and with it cut out all modes of spirituality. I felt pretty sure that I didn't need any spirituality, a belief made stronger by the cosmopolitan-hip-to-be-atheist/agnostic attitude of many people around me. I was told by a teacher that eventually I would miss the community of the church. Now, years later, I realize she was only half right - I don't miss the Catholic church (except the part where everyone sings Christmas carols together, as I am a sucker for religious carols) at all, but I am wanting a sense of the divine.

Hence, my quest to find a form of spirituality that I can respect as I create the latest version of myself. Along this path, I've come across a deck of healing cards by Caroline Myss and Peter Occhiogrosso that incorporate many different sources of spirituality: as they say, "Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Taoism; as well as Native American, Shamanic, and New Age teachings." The cards are, admittedly, like little sound-bites; formulated to help a person with a small step toward healing as needed rather than an overwhelming overhaul.

Here are two examples of the cards - my card for yesterday and for today:

Yesterday: "Pain is a touchstone of spiritual progress. Follow your pain as if it were a candle in the night, leading you to a place of decision. Clear choices can often heal your pain because they release your conflicts."

Today: "The soul is on Earth for its own delight. Consider this amazing possibility: you incarnated on this earth just to experience the joy of being alive. Do you even know what gives you joy? Do something about that today."

I'm happy with the cards and I'm happy with the direction I've been taking my life lately (ever since I made those clear decisions). I might not ever settle on one form of spirituality for myself, but I feel that's not really needed...it seems fitting that as I change, my spirituality changes as needed. After all, it was rigidity that caused me to toss spirituality out of my life in the first place. Fluidity is a good thing.

Comments

[sparkymonster.livejournal.com]

All I can say is liminal spaces are the best.

OK, that's not all I can say.

I think there can be both strength and comfort in a hard line. The firey sword of truth, righteousness, etc. etc. The thing is, the situations in which you need to be a hard ass motherfucker, spirtually speaking, are not very common. I think life is more about the spaces inbetween, the borderlands, than anything else.

Also, have you read any of SARK's books? I really enjoyed Inspiration Sandwich and Living Juicy.

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

Well, the thresholds are certainly never boring!

As for Sark, Wubba gave me one...it was either the Juicy one or something about Wild Women. (I can't recall and it's packed in a box right now.) However, sometimes the wildness of the fonts and stuff distracts me.

[kstanley.livejournal.com]

Good luck. It's not an easy world to be spiritual in. There are so many temptations and distractions. So often we are encouraged to be selfish, mean, stupid. A typical commericial holds up these behaviors as the ideal--as if acting this way makes you cool. Nice people are considered boring, inane. It's very difficult to transcend your ego in this world.

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Kimberly. You're right - the world these days seems to be especially secular, or on the other extreme, fanatical.

[kstanley.livejournal.com]

It's not even the secularism I have a problem with--it's the secularism without ethics. Just because I believe in science doesn't mean that I can't be compassionate, ethical, and kind. From my perspective, which I realize is very narrow, I feel the pull of two rather nasty extremes: religious fundamentalism and social Darwinism. I don't think either is right, but it seems like if you want to be strong--to be perceived as having strengh of character and fortitude--and therefore be perceived as "right," you have to embrace one of these two extremes.

But I am all about that third way. There's a magazine you should check out. It's called Parabola--have you heard of it? It's a completely non-New Agey spiritual, philosophical magazine. I find it to be very thought-provoking and even sustaining. It's a very positive experience to read it.

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

I haven't heard of Parabola - I'll definitely check it out though. Thank you for the recommendation.

It's not even the secularism I have a problem with--it's the secularism without ethics

Totally. Even with throwing out the spiritual "baby" with the holy water as a teen, I still figured I had to treat people well. I strive to relate to others with politeness and the idea that I should take what people present me in the best possible light. I'm constantly amazed by people who clearly don't have that same motivation. I wonder, "What is so wrong in your life that makes you believe you can treat other people like this?" and shake my head.

Extremists of any type make me nervous. I always wonder what kind of info they have to make them so certain.