Jumble Rumble Grumble
May. 3rd, 2003 02:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
disbelief11Jumble: I've been cleaning out my office. Admittedly, I've been doing this for months...a drawer here, a stack of filing there, etc. Trouble is, I've reached the point where the majority of the superficial (read: easy) stuff is done. Over the last few days, I've started tackling the jumble of boxes (and the jumble in said boxes) in the closet.
Which is where the rumble comes into play. Strains of the Stray Cats song "Rumble In Brighton" keep playing in my head as I've been jumping into the fray. Yep, "there's a rumble in my office tonight, ringside seats for the neighborhood fight..." (Yes, I'm weird. Whatever.) This is war, this thing between me and the boxes, and right now I'd say the boxes are winning.
Bringing me to my grumble. Though perhaps it's really more of a mumble. Going through all these things -
- insurance papers for cars we don't have any more; bills from when we had way more debt than money coming in each month; silly tchotchkes from grade school, high school, college, marriage; etc. -
- is bringing up a whirlwind of emotions. At one moment I'm flooded with the queasy feeling that I associate with the broke times (the "shit, how are we ever going to pay this off?" feeling), the next I'm all nostalgic over things my friends did for me in college. Throw in some melancholy, some laughter, some anger, shake to mix well and "eureka!"...that's how I'm feeling right now.
But right now y'all are my witnesses: I am fully determined to triumph over all this stuff. No matter how long it takes (because I am envisioning all the steps it's going to take me before I can claim my victory, and shit! there's a lot of steps).
In the immortal words of Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive". Dammit.
Which is where the rumble comes into play. Strains of the Stray Cats song "Rumble In Brighton" keep playing in my head as I've been jumping into the fray. Yep, "there's a rumble in my office tonight, ringside seats for the neighborhood fight..." (Yes, I'm weird. Whatever.) This is war, this thing between me and the boxes, and right now I'd say the boxes are winning.
Bringing me to my grumble. Though perhaps it's really more of a mumble. Going through all these things -
- insurance papers for cars we don't have any more; bills from when we had way more debt than money coming in each month; silly tchotchkes from grade school, high school, college, marriage; etc. -
- is bringing up a whirlwind of emotions. At one moment I'm flooded with the queasy feeling that I associate with the broke times (the "shit, how are we ever going to pay this off?" feeling), the next I'm all nostalgic over things my friends did for me in college. Throw in some melancholy, some laughter, some anger, shake to mix well and "eureka!"...that's how I'm feeling right now.
But right now y'all are my witnesses: I am fully determined to triumph over all this stuff. No matter how long it takes (because I am envisioning all the steps it's going to take me before I can claim my victory, and shit! there's a lot of steps).
In the immortal words of Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive". Dammit.
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no subject
Date: 2003-05-03 01:18 pm (UTC)I've actually sat down three times to go through all of my grandmother's things--her pictures, letters, and other documents. Each time I sit down to do this, I revisit events of my childhood--but see them from adult eyes. It can be quite disconcerting. And then there are the dreams. My subconcious goes buck-wild when I make these trips downs memory lane and I have the most disturbing dreams about my grandmother and my childhood.
Oh well, I'll make it through everything one day.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-03 03:04 pm (UTC)Though I wish doing this was a bit less dusty...my sinuses are rebelling.