Inner Child Seeking...

[disbelief11]

My "inner child" is looking for someone to hold me and tell me everything will be fine. Some other duties may arise from time to time, such as massages, ego boosting, and reading slashy fanfic aloud to me.

Said person must be very sincere or, at least, do a very convincing imitation of sincerity.

Compensation may include some or all of the following:

1. housing


2. gourmet food (either prepared by me or ordered in, depending upon my mood)


3. a stipend (amount to be based on quantity and quality of service rendered)


4. sexual favors (again, amount to be based on quantity and quality of service rendered)

Serious applicants only, please.

Comments

[wubba.livejournal.com]

*mwa*

Will you sponsor me for a visa? Cause you know I'd do anything for you.....

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

Sure! We'll just have to come up with a convincing job title for the paperwork.

*hugs and smooches*

Good luck with your surgery, Sweets.

[breeamal.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a personal assistant to me.

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

True, but the Immigration folks may wonder why I can't find a qualified US applicant. Then again, they haven't seen Wubba. She's sexxay.

[thamiris.livejournal.com]

I volunteer, sweet one. I'll pet you and flatter you and tell you filthy stories, all as you deserve. *hugs*

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

Are you at all adverse to any "accidental" (read surreptitious) groping while you pet and flatter me and read me filthy stories?

*leers at Thamiris*

[thamiris.livejournal.com]

Adverse to groping? Dis, I'm offering for the express purpose of getting groped by your divine self. *g*

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

Woo! Mmmm, now I'm imagining all *kinds* of fun.

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

By the way, thank you for "pornobraindeadia." Brilliant!

[tresca.livejournal.com]

Where should we send resumes? And do you require any letters of recommendation? ;)

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

Send resumes care of: The "Real" Happiest Place on Earth, 1111 It's All About Me Way, Chicago, IL, Earth, the Solar System, etc. Please be sure to affix enough postage and possibly a gift for my mail carrier. (You know, to make sure the item is delivered more quickly.)

Letters of recommendation are not required but may help in placing you in the position.

Mwah! Love you!

Re:

[tresca.livejournal.com]

Mwah! Love you too!

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

Your icon makes me miss Calvin & Hobbes even more. They were the best!

Re:

[tresca.livejournal.com]

They really were. I've been making a bunch of C & H icons lately, but I haven't put any of them up. They're just fun to make.

[fleegull.livejournal.com]

Here's what you do. Pcik up one of those teenagers full of take on Hollywood bravado at the bus station, tell him/her that you can make him/her famous but there are a few "favors" you need done first....

It's pretty easy, and you'll never run out of vict- I mean, "helpers".

[disbelief11.livejournal.com]

Heh, good advice, Fleeg. I'll just have to cultivate my "Hollywood Director" image.